May 2, 2025

This is a rambling rant written out of frustration (not anger) more than a journal entry but I'm also aiming to use these kinds of posts as a way to get things out of my system. I've already posted about National Space Day, so feeling good about that. Also had a Costco run last night but there's nothing exciting to discuss there. I also put asides associated with this, so make sure to check those out. Here goes...

The whole concept of fandom is frustrating to me sometimes.

Aside from it being National Space Day, it's also somehow Harry Potter Day. Not being a huge fan of The Wizarding World (and especially not of Rowling's bigoted bullshit), I'm going to sit this one out. I've liked the movies, even if they felt dull at times. I've never read the books [1] but I also wouldn't begrudge anyone enjoy reading them. The part that gets me, though, is the same reason I'm also not going to be over-the-moon about May the Fourth coming up: why would you build your entire life around a media property?

I can understand being hyper-fixated on something for a while, especially when you're growing up. I'm not a stranger to that at all [2] but those things usually should come and go, adding to the larger experience. I also don't think you shouldn't enjoy stuff like Harry Potter or Star Wars [3] and pull that misquoting the Bible "you should put aside childish things" crap people like to do when they're feeling smugly superior or insecure about the "childish" things they themselves like. I feel that the childish aspect of engaging with these things is when you make it the whole determiner of your worldview and preferences without considering nuance or examining how other factors come into play when you come across something in the real world.

It's the constant comparing politicians to Voldemort or Harry. It's the constant naming of tech upstarts after Middle-earth locations. It's the constant making callbacks to that time Han Solo shot Greedo first at Mos Eisley when all I'm trying to tell you, with increased agitation, is how I've failed to make a sourdough starter during COVID. It's the whole r/readanotherbook thing. It feels like the internet only flattened our horizons and we all just need to read another book, watch another movie, or just - I don't know - engage with the wider fucking world. I know it's not fashionable to reference The West Wing but this scene always passes in my head when I'm watching people do this cringe-y shit in public and sums up roughly how I feel about it all at this point:

Now, of course, two things to note: (1) in retrospect, Josh is both a little off and really condescending here about what a fan is, since he's using being an enjoyer of a given thing as the baseline. Janice is closer to what fandoms actually are but the point remains that he isn't wrong about these groups making the thing they love more into a fetish item/an Object of Desire than something they just really enjoy a lot.

I mention this because (2) I have plenty of experiences where I've encountered and probably have come across this way to others - I was fucking obnoxious during my Bloom County phase - since whenever you run with nerds, there's a 99.99% chance 3/4 of the people you meet are going to be some version of Janice here (though she chills out about Star Trek in the office later during the episode). Everything gets tied back to the thing they love, regardless of how relevant it is to the conversation.

A personal example I have in mind happened over a decade ago. I had joined a board game group and hung out with them somewhat regularly and during one session, this person showed up wearing a steampunk-y brown coat. It also felt like they had more social anxiety than even I had (this was during my "Hoarder/Hermit/Almost Hikikomori period") but also were strangely gregarious when talking to the rest of us. It soon made sense why they wore this coat during the heat of summer - they identified as a Browncoat. After introducing themselves, every little thing they said had to do with Firefly. It didn't matter if we were discussing the rules of the game or asking someone to get us a drink, it always somehow tied back to Firefly. For context, I only watched one episode of the show by that point and just didn't like it (not bad, didn't gel). So having constant, non-stop references to a show I never really saw nor didn't care about was incredibly frustrating. I didn't mind that they liked the show - my spouse likes it too and I have my own weird things that most people don't give a shit about - but to take from the kids on this one: The Cringe was strong. [4]

So that's the thing I think about with people who devote their entire lives to believing they're a student in a Hogwarts House or an actual Jedi [5] - the passion's appreciated but go out and try some new things. Gain new frames of reference, pull inspiration from something that's unlike the thing you love obsessively. Like, yeah, I know I'm sounding judgmental when I write this, like what the fuck should I care?

Still, it's frustrating to meet so many people in my life and a good chunk of them don't actually have that broad of a range to pull from. It's the lifestyle equivalent of growing up somewhere but never leaving it to go see other places [6]. I know how it feels since I've been there myself numerous times but, trust me, the comfort zone gets mighty suffocating after a while and having those other things to fall back or provide an alternative perspective are quite helpful when in a rut. It's one of the main reasons this blog is more Generalist than Specialist, as the universe is too wild and exciting to just stick around and burrow yourself in the minute details of just one thing. Scary, but also exhilarating.

Or maybe I'm just a crabby middle-aged entitled asshole (highly likely). Who knows, I'm still trying to figure it all out.

If you are celebrating Harry Potter Day or will be celebrating May the Fourth soon, make to sure to enjoy yourselves but also remember some perspective overall. It should be a fun thing you do but not an excuse to be obnoxious. Don't be surprised if you get some angry glares and hear the sound of grinding teeth should you forget that.

Thanks for reading (if you got this far) - this has been on my mind for quite a while and isn't the norm for this blog. I'm usually try not to "yuck anyone's yum" (within reason, of course) but having noticed the mindset I've described above in myself and then seeing it like a car crash in slow motion with others all the time wormed itself into my brain and just needed to get it out so it wouldn't just fester in there. - A.B. 5/2/25

Asides

[1] I was in middle school when they came out and felt they were for younger kids but also never bothered to check them out as I got older.

[2] Roller coasters, anime, collecting CDs, collecting Criterion Collection DVDs, collecting Hard Rock Café pins, re-reading old Bloom County strips, etc.

[3] Or Star Trek or Lord of the Rings or Marvel or cartoons or anime or World of Warcraft or Phish or [insert whatever other nerdy things people obsess over].

[4] This is mild, though, compared to the writing group I once led where this Libertarian Guy who kept wanting to bring everything back to John Milton's Areopagitica for some weird reason and constantly asked me to edit his 50-page ravings in 300 different fonts...

[5] Cosplaying and roleplaying don't really fall into this, since neither of those are the same as being immersive for 24/7 in a fantasy world. I'm referring to the "I live and breathe this!" types.

[6] I have relations who meet this description and that's frustrating on its own.